Dear Manny, Gil, Hector, Bobby, Efrain, Gus, George, and Al,
Given the legal troubles that have surfaced for Manny, George, and Gil in the past few days, we thought we should send out this reminder. We want to thank you again for the service that you performed in the fight against communism in Central and South America during the Cold War. We even understand that in defending Western civilization you might have committed numerous war crimes, crimes against humanity, and possibly even genocide. However, some people in the US are just learning about what went during the second half of the twentieth situation and we are in a really tought predicament.
We are well aware that the fight against the communists required you to engage in torture (Mechanics School), mass rape (Dos Erres), disappearances (all), death flights (Argentina), drug trafficking (Noriega, Contras), human trafficking (Argentine, Salvadoran, and Guatemalan militaries), terrorist attacks on US soil (Letelier), the murder and rape of US citizens (US Churchwomen, Sr. Diana Ortiz), the murder of babies and even the unborn (Kaibiles), and civilian massacres of entire villages (El Mozote and Guatemala).
We might even have trained you, given you moneyand weapons, provided political cover for you, given you medals, hosted you at the White House, sent senators to support you, treated you medically, given you teaching gigs and rewarded you with commencement addresses at Fort Benning, and/or allowed you to resettle in the US after your job was done.
While our presidents and most members of congress have no qualms with what you did, the American public and our courts sometimes do not understand the sacrifices that you made for your country and for ours. Therefore, we must remind you that countries do not have friends, only interests. It is now in our interest to downplay the support that we gave to you and to deny knowledge of what you did to help us. We are going to have to act surprised when we hear about the things that you are alleged to have done so long ago. We might even be forced to prosecute you, revoke your citizenship and/or deport you, and share incriminating information with your government and the international community once the activities become public. Again, we are sorry. If it makes you feel better, you are not the first to receive this letter and you will not, unfortunately, be the last.
But please do not share this letter with anyone. If others knew, it might make it more difficult for us to recruit loyal allies in the future.